Birth Fantasies

Visualization is a powerful tool. Athletes use it to improve their performance, salespeople use it to increase their sales, and all of us use it, to one degree or another, in our sex lives.

You don't believe visualization is powerful? Next time you masturbate or make love, try thinking about something other than sex. Imagine you are mopping your kitchen floor, or unloading your dishwasher. Notice any difference? Unless you're particularly turned on by housework (and if you are, call me!), you're not going to have an easy time reaching orgasm. This is because our bodies are responsive to our thoughts.

This is especially true in childbirth which, contrary to popular opinion, is a sexual experience. Visualization during labor can literally help a woman to open up. Visualization during pregnancy can be like a dress rehearsal (or in most cases, an "undress" rehearsal) preparing your mind and body for birth.

When creating your visualization - or birth fantasy - don't hold back. Even if you are planning a hospital birth, allow yourself to imagine giving birth safely in a beautiful, natural setting. If this frightens you, explore that fear. It's just a fantasy, and you don't have to actually go through with it. But the fact is, it's simply more fun (at least for me) to imagine birthing in a natural setting rather than in a hospital, and fun is what it's all about.

Be creative and allow yourself to change your fantasy as you go along. Pay attention to your impulses. When one of my students tried this exercise, she found herself imagining her beloved dog by her side. This is what she found comforting. Other women prefer to think about giving birth with family and friends. And still others enjoy the idea of an intimate birth with only their partners. I enjoy giving birth either alone or with my husband, so this is what I've incorporated into my fantasies. I've enclosed them below.

Do you have birth fantasies? If so, email me, I'd love to read them. In the meantime feel free to use these:

The Cabin

David and I are spending the weekend at our cabin in the mountains of Colorado. It's been snowing for days, but now the sky is clear. A full moon and a thousand brilliant stars illuminate the valley. We are miles away from everyone.

We make a fire in the fireplace, and light a fragrant candle. The scent of orchids fills the air.

David pours me a glass of wine and we talk and laugh in front of the fire. He strokes my pregnant belly, sending waves of love to our unborn child. I feel waves too - gentle, rhythmic stirrings - and know our baby will soon be here.

David stokes the fire. I sing to our baby, still in my womb.

Soon, David kisses me. I love the feel of his touch. He is strong yet gentle, like birth itself. We make love. We are loving our baby into our world. Come....come....come to us, baby.

Warm water spills from me - a sudden summer rain in the midst of winter. Baby tumbles, tumbles down.

Down....down....down.

And now....we are three.

The Secret Garden

I am in a lush garden with flowers of every kind and color. The air is filled with the scent of roses and lilacs. I am alone, aside from a robin who is perched in a nearby tree. I lay in the clover and listen to the robin's sweet song. My baby will soon be here.

I feel the sunshine on my face and the soft breeze on my skin as I breathe in the fragrant summer air. Down and out, down and out, I feel my baby coming. I breathe....I breathe....I breathe.

I am the rose....blooming

I am the robin....singing

I am the breeze....blowing

I am the earth....bursting forth with new life.

A river flows from my body....my baby slides into my hands. I look in her eyes and see all of creation looking back at me.

 

By the Sea

by Judie C. Rall, Unhindered Childbirth

If you could give birth anywhere, where would it be? I've always thought it would be wonderful to give birth in the warm summer waters of the southern pacific ocean. I can see myself sitting on the sand at the edge of the water with just a couple of inches of water covering my legs. It is late afternoon. The sun warms my body, and the water that laps at my feet is a comfortable temperature. I close my eyes and listen to the sound of the waves. I feel a gentle breeze blowing my hair. The sun is starting to go down; the colors on the horizon are beautiful. I find a calm pool of water sheltered by some rocks. I lay back against the rocks, which are still very warm from being in the sun all day. The warm water relaxing my body, the warmth of the rock against my back, the gentle breeze and relaxing sounds.....I drift off to sleep for a few minutes....I am so relaxed........

I am awakened by a feeling of tightness in my belly. It is only there briefly, then goes away. The tightness comes and goes for a while. The sun is almost down now. I crawl up onto the sand, and when I try to stand up, my feet sink down under the sand. This automatically causes me to squat down. When I do, an uncontrollable force grips my body that makes me let out a long, low moan, and I suddenly feel totally submissive to it. I follow where it leads. I feel immersed in it; it's the same feeling I have when making love. It's the feeling that you are racing quickly towards something, faster...and faster...and faster...I am rocking back and forth on all fours, moaning...moaning, breathing faster and faster.....it is so good, it is almost too much....so powerful....it's coming....it's coming.....

Suddenly, something appears between my legs. It's out...and my body is suddenly peaceful. I lift it up, and gaze into the face of my child. We sit down into the water so that we are both partially immersed. We look into each other's eyes, we float about. We are two, but we are one.

 

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Top photo copyright Dejan Dizdar.
Bottom photo copyright Genuine Image Photography.